If you're reading this, then most probably you're in the midst of a serious relationship. You're wondering if you should take it to the next level; where you meet his/her parents and vice versa for your partner. And trust me, I know that nagging feeling deep inside your heart.
Let's take myself as an example for this discussion shall we?
As you all know from my about me page, I'm a divorcee father of one, and I have been in a relationship with a few girls after my ex-wife. So I'd say I'm pretty much qualified to give some advise eh.
In my younger days, I was always so eager to introduce my girlfriend to my parents, not so of my father because he's the type that has negativity surrounding him always- but point being, I was always excited to take things to the next level with the girlfriend that I was currently dating. Now that I'm older, there's a phrase for what I did; and it's "ain't you goin too fast mate?".
We're reading this article to find answers if it's the right time to meet the parents, but before we get to that, there are pre-requisites into making that decision. Everything comes in stages, and likewise being in love, it has processes, and you gotta make sure you get through every stage diligently before you move on to the next one yep.
Stage #1 - Love at First Sight?
Chemistry in the making.
I always believed that fate always has a hand in these situations, sometimes they pan out alright, and at time, they whip up a sticky mess that we can't get rid off. We meet a girl/guy at a party or at a gathering, and you find that you and that other person can hold a conversation far longer than you can with others. You're smitten, and infactuation strikes with that person and from that first encounter it progresses to a point that you can't resist receiving his calls and text.
Stage #2 - Meeting The Friends
This comes not long after your first acquaintance with your beau. You're both comfortable with one another and you're ramping things up by getting to know his friends. You'll wanna know how he behaves with his bros, or sisters in the girl's context. This is the phase where you're assessing him comes in - and mind you; it's equally as nerve wreaking as meeting the parents. It's a make it or break it moment for the both of you.
Stage #3 - How Long Have You Known Your Other Half?
There are different opinions when it comes to the term "how long" in a relationship. It's a definition of three months, half a year, or even more. Your opinion may vary than mine. And this thought always comes to mind along with certain decision making for these:-
- Going on a vacation
- Being intimate with your beau
- Moving in with him/her (Will be talking more about it the next stage)
- Some might rely on the amount of chemistry you have between you and your partner as a factor when it comes
- Perhaps opening up a joint savings account
Stage #4 - Moving in Together
You've got the chemistry, gelled well with his friends, and you've got years of being in a relationship with him and suddenly, he/she asks you to move in. If you're not jittered by the fact that meeting his friends was a huge achievement, you'll probably be giving a thought or two about this. Salesmen would call this the assumption closing technique. It's the same if you ask me. Picture this: You're at a car dealer, interested in a purchasing one. You stop to take a look at the car and the car dealer after breezing you through the features of the car, he asks you "So, would you like to make payment via cash or nets" or "what accessories would you like to add in the car". Familiar?
What ever your decision is, the prelude to that will always shake you a lil. Because it's a huge decision to make dude. Well at least for the car, you're tied with it for 10 years and be done with it. With your partner, its a tad different heh.
Stage #5 - You Surmise That He/She is THE ONE
In summary, your one true love. You've gone through the above stages from #1 - #4 and you've received and given so much shit to one another that you believe in all your heart that you both can weather just about anything that life throws on you. Which bring us to...
Stage #6 - The Finale. Meeting the Parents.
Curtains are drawn here. You've prepped everything before your show begins and you're ready to reveal your hardwork to the audience - the parents. And do not forget nor take this as a trivial matter, the audience knows best and they're the ones who will either give a thumbs up to your performance or be your worst critics.
This stage of relationship may differ than mine, your decision to meet the parents might even take place even before moving in with your partner. What's i'm trying to highlight here is the most advisable way of what course you should take in life, considering that I've been through all that and a step further - with having a kid of my own.
So my point here is simple. Follow what your heart tells you so that it'll ease you into making hard-felt decisions. Communicate with your partner before taking any big decisions. Communication is vital between the both of you, anything else is secondary 🙂